Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Wishful Thinking, or Something Happened?

Ok, so there's this straight guy at work. He has a girlfriend, and he's a little younger than me. I just started there, and whenever I meet new people, my gaydar turns on and begins to search. This guy has a best guy friend at work, and they are inseparable.... both fricken gorgeous. Their closeness through me off, so I had Dar right away from that (that can usually mean that ONE of them is).



Anyways, I knew one pretty well, but I hadn't gotten to know the other one, we'll call him John. So John, his best friend, another guy coworker go out after work for a drink and some food. The whole time, we had this hilarious conversation about girls, sex, (guys in my case, cause I'm gay), and all other sorts of hilarious guy talk.



They're all pretty cool with me being gay, and John seemed to LOVE when I would talk about being gay... he couldn't stop laughing at some of the jokes I had about it, and my philosophies, and blah blah blah. The whole night was a blast, and I could tell that we all had an extremely good time (but i especially noticed his good time).



So the next day at work, we both pulled a double, and it was just me and him. We hung out the whole day, had our tables in the same area, and we were just goofin around being guys and what not. ANYWAYS, in the middle of the second shift, something happened.



We were in the kitchen, and it was just me and him, and he began talking seriously. I could tell he was hesitant on what he was trying to say, but he was basically saying (stuttering a little) that we definitely need to go back and have dinner again like the night before, because he ';loves... like... learning... i dunno, about like, other peoples views and stuff';.... lol, really cute, like he couldn't admit something or WHO KNOWS!



So my guy immediately sinks, and I try to act like i'm half listening, and totally agreeing with everything while I was doing something... like, ';yea, for SURE, last night was hilarious';...



So then after that, my gaydar was on full blast, but I tried not to show that it made me glow. I needed to break change, so I asked him if he could do it for me, and he could, so I was being goofy, and was like, YAYYAHHH, Teamwork! (something gay, i dunno, its a restaurant, we all do crazy stuff to stay upbeat)... I went for a highfive downlow, and he highfived me, but got real awkward, and he said something.



He mumbled it, and it was out of place, but what i'm almost sure he said was, ';I'm seeing somebody';, under his breath a little.



It was out of nowhere, and the wording was weird to me, not ';i have a girlfriend';, just ';i'm seeing somebody';. And then for the next hour, it was like a 180 with me and him. We didn't make any eye contact, he backed off of me, and I backed off of him, and i felt so sad about it, because I wasn't even hitting on him, I was just having a good time, and really enjoyed how receptive he's was being towards me. After about an hour and a half, he finally went back towards normal, and we've been fine ever since.



Anybody have any type of analysis on this? It confused the hell out of me. Do I have a decent case at maybe thinking he could be bi or something. I'm not gonna persue it, but it would be good to know I guess.Wishful Thinking, or Something Happened?
Look honey he is not gay ... the only reason he is acting like this is because you are gay ... if you weren't gay then he wouldn't act like this ... how do I know ? I was the same chatting and e mailing with a lesbian female online ( gays something are so confusing ... we aren't from the same roots originally ) and not only that but gay environments are sexually charged ... since gays are a minority you are sometimes wondering if people are looking at you and there is this sexual tension ( I know I was )



Ack I know that this is hard but why don't you go to a segregated gay area ? Go to a '; gay '; party or something ... there you KNOW that the men are gay and you can meet them (: ... I know that this is hard but give up straight men ( I'm a straight girl and I know them ) ... if you were a woman you could walk up to him and kiss him and see his reaction but honey about what 90 to 95 % of men identify as heterosexual ? That's too many dudes man



Please read this article http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Seeking+%2



Have you tried internet dating ? You will find somebody there



Overall here is my analysis '; After about an hour and a half, he finally went back towards normal, and we've been fine ever since ';



The fact that he is back to normal means that the atmosphere is changing and he is becoming more comfortable around you ^_^



Hopefully this won't sound mean but I think that being around a sexual minority really changes you and affects you ... he is being affected ( it sure affected me )



You and them can just be friends http://www.fey.ca/blarchives/2000/05/24/



The fact that everything is okay and there is no pressure ... friendship



Try internet dating (:

It will work ^_^Wishful Thinking, or Something Happened?
I think is courious, just maybe became nervious
He could be interested in you and he could be homosexual, but has been covering up or in denial. We don't know. The most important thing is to be professional in the workplace, and don't ever make a relationship turn romantic with someone from work.
Tell him that you felt his uneasiness the other night and that you're fine with just being friends. You like him but wouldn't hit on a work partner. Just let time and normal relations run their course, he might come around. It sounds like you're very aware of the complicated ways relationships happen in the gay/straight world.

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