Thursday, September 22, 2011

Lol ..right.. dont laughh please :)... what do you think of this story/poem i wrote?

this poems about my boyfriend who i was with for 4 years, and then i lost him to drug :( x





From the frist day you missed your train to come back to me,

to reunite our love, and from then on i knew i did you bad

i knew you fell down hard , but i know you found it in you to forgive my heart.

and from then on i knew we'd never be the same

we'd stand there in the rain and try to fix the problems , try to carry on but from when you walked away i'd be left broken and bow my head in shame



I knew we wouldnt last i knew it would break my heart , but i'd try to convince myself that we would never part.

I loved you to much to loose you

i cant move on and in my mind i think to myself that you are not gone



from the breaks to the dates you were in my mind

24/7 you used to always be there to shine , looking out for me holding me i miss your touch

and now its over i realise i love you so much



Holding on so tightly keeping a close eye, scared you'd get with that one girl and then our love would die



seeing single as your status broke my heart leaving my memorie left with a tearful mark



trying to forget us , trying to move on but all i can do is replay in my mind and remind myself i first lost you to what you've died from



And although your right there to my touch your so far away

change has broken us , and left me to live my life in a harder way



Now all im left with is memories and photographs ,

you in my mind saying '' i love you so much'' .. i miss him so much

i'd do anything , i'd even die for him as such

But i get it now its over . i know.

but why tell me there's a point if you knew our love would end fell?



my first our love your presence everywhere i go ...



i love you ... i miss you... and i just want yo kiss you ...



I hope you realise how much it hurts



you left your girl scared and marked with a broken heart..Lol ..right.. dont laughh please :)... what do you think of this story/poem i wrote?
thats lovely!

it braught a tear to my eye.

well done you have some serious skill goin on there

well done !

xLol ..right.. dont laughh please :)... what do you think of this story/poem i wrote?
awwwwwwww that is realy good i feel so bad 4 you
Don`t wonder he turned to drugs. Its not that good
i recommend the book ';Crank';.
Amazing! *sniffle* You should submit it to cali-graphy.webs.com so it gets critiqued and read
Your poem is pretty good but a bit wordy

try to use less words and make them work harder for you

why use 4 words when 1 descriptive word work

all in all not to bad
A real laguhing stock
  • client time
  • share some encouraging words
  • No comments:

    Post a Comment

    Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.