Thursday, September 22, 2011

Does thought processing go back to normal when you're off drugs and stop being a junky?

I use to be an addict of marijuana and sleeping pills, sometimes Ecstasy. I'm still on the sleeping pills, but I'm taking lower doses because of my really high tolerance so I can quit. I dropped out of school in the 9th grade pretty much because of drugs. They brought out a lot of unnecessary emotions, and when I was at school, I wasn't there in my head. I'm slowly getting off and hope for a brighter future with out bad peers and just want to start my life over. I'm having trouble doing so though because I've missed a lot of time to grow up and experience life the way my peers did. I can't relate to them at all anymore because they've been through practically everything that I'm just begining to go through because of my set back.



All I do is sit around all day and do nothing. I'm not expecting my life to be completely hunky dory (as good as that sounds), I'm just wanting my life to be normal. It's seems like I can't function like other kids my age, and I can't tell if it's because of experience they received and I didn't, or if I've dealt a great blow to my brain and that's why I am the way I am. I'm 17 and feel like I have the mind of a 13-14 year old. Every time I get that little motivation to change, something breaks me down about how stupid I am half the time compared to my age group, and I know it's because of the drugs. I'm getting off, and for good, but will I ever be able to make something of myself and learn anymore? I'm afraid that once I get off, not much is going to change and I'm going to be just as ****** up in the head as I was when I waso n drugs. Am I ever going to be able to fit in again and have a consistant life with others, but do so with ME this time? not someone I want to be or look up too.



The thing that sucks the most is that I only did drugs because of a kid that was like a brother to me did them. I did everything he did and at first did drugs to fit in with him. However, later that changed and I began doing drugs for my own enjoyment where it got out of hand.



I've never been the smartest person, but I feel like I've destroyed my chances of ever changing that.



Is it possible for me to fully recover, or do I have to face the harsh reality that I've actually ruined my life?Does thought processing go back to normal when you're off drugs and stop being a junky?
First of all, the longer you are clean, the more ';clear'; things will become; indeed your brain is still detoxing, and it takes a while to awaken those neural connections that have sat dormant for so long because of your drug use. While there may have been some damage or depression (of function) caused by your use, the brain (and human body) is really very resilient, and you're still young. It sounds to me as if the greatest hurtle ahead of you is learning those social/developmental tasks you may have lost out on while you were high all the time, but again, you're still young and your whole identity as a person is still developing. Speaking from experience, it takes time, and the hardest obstacle (in addition to staying clean and ';catching-up'; to your peers socially) is, simply put, learning how to be ';normal'; as ';normal'; is for you, when for so long you didn't really know what normal was. While it may not be much of a consolation, reading your post was actually inspiring-you are much more articulate than many of the students I have worked with at the college and university level, so don't be so hard on yourself.

I do have one question for you, and that is this: do you think that perhaps you suffer from depression? Whether as a result of drug use of simply the life experience you say you missed out on, depression can make it difficult to interact with other people, difficult to concentrate, and difficult to learn anything. During my worst depressions, I couldn't retain the simplest of instructions or information, yet I eventually graduated from post-secondary school with the highest GPA possible. (I'm not trying to brag, I'm just saying that there is certainly a difference between the mental/functional abilities of the healthy, happy brain versus the unwell, emotionally ';messed-up'; one.)

PS: if you ever want/need to email me for any reason, feel free

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