Thursday, September 22, 2011

Love-story with edges?

if you could give me advice - or comment - i'd be so grateful!



i feel heartsick from time to time, thinking back of a man i really really love very much. what we had was a love affair of much time (must have been around 18 month up to 2 years, with breaks). i had a bf and he had a gf when we met. i fell in love, since my relationship was rather like brother+sister. i was honest. but the man i met wasn't. he lied about his relationship. making me feel there was hope and a new beginning. so, that was the start of it all. after some real hard time but also moments i'd never want to miss, i had to break free because it hurt me too much. i am a tolerant person, i want to see the people i love happy, i don't want to hurt intentionally. what i had seen was that this man was (upon his own words) unable to have a relationship and stay faithful. he was seeing other girls too. i think i was someone he held on to. me too, i was his hope to change life + break free of his own (unhappy) relationship. but he hurt me by obviously seeing other girls too. when i noticed that he had less+less time (as i know now, he met his now-girlfriend, with whom he seemed to have had a relationship already before) i was sad, depressive and heartbroken. i just noticed something was wrong and he had almost no time. it was the time when i drew back and tried to forget him. it was the time too, when i must have lost him to his now-girlfriend. when something else occured (he flirted right in front of me with one of his girls, kind of kissed her and smiled over to me) i got cool as ice+very very angry+told him he'd NEVER never see me again in his life. he did not expect this+looked at me with disbelief. that was it for the first time. i've not seen him for half a year after this thing. i tried to forget him. but over time, anger turned into love and i just could not stand the thought of loosing him upon such a fight. i hate fights. and i hate disharmony. so i texted him + he was so happy about that. what i realized then, was that he was in a new relationship. splitting up from his serious relationship before and living a new life with a girl he seemed to know since some time. we kind of stayed friends, met, talked, and every time i missed him so much right after. of course we could not only stay friends and that was like the whole rollercoster was starting again. somehow he had told his now-girlfriend about our story. and when she found out we talked again, of course, she was mad. i could understand her. i did not want to destroy his new life (since i love him) but living without him was not worth thinking of! when she called me for the second time to tell me how much i disturbed, i knew she was right + i felt the man i loved had always been using me. i wanted to stop and wrote him a mail, explaining of how much i still liked him, but that staying friends obviously was not possible either and - that he should stop texting me (even if only rarely).



now, some months have passed and i miss him so much :(



i have a new job, so this really kept my thoughts off him for some time. but now, whenever i think of him, i would love to see him, meet him, talk to him, laugh with him, and just be around him... in short... i really really miss him. what do i do? i have a boyfriend. he has a girlfriend. and he seems to be serious about her. is this how it's supposed to be? living our lifes in distance, missing him all these years+wait if ever ever anything will change???Love-story with edges?
Sounds like your in a love triangle. But there are only 3 corners to it. Sweetie from me being a guy im gonna tell you straight up. This guy was stringing you along like most guys do until something better comes along from the beginning. I know that you guys had something special but thats the key word HAD. At the same time him having all these other girls on the side is more drama that you dont need. To much baggage and that will mess with your mind like it is doing now. If you miss him do something to take your mind off him. I know you said you have a job. but do more activities that will make you happy. That emotional impulse that you have will eventually be replaced by the new happiness whether it be any other person or activity that you are doing.



Do not do not go back. You will be stuck in his web of deceit and lies. Not to mention what he is passing around when it comes down to it. I had a friend who wanted me to spy on a guy and im like HELL NO! Let it go. And she is married of 2yrs. She found him online on myspace. She just wants to know how he is doing but dont want to contact the man. I still said no. She was obsessed to see if he is doing bad or good preferable bad. It was around the same issue that you are going through and living. Plus thats not love at least from his end. Its infatuation on yours. If he loved you in the slights he wouldnt be doing that to begin with. You would be the only one on his mind and his heart. The first thing he wouldve thought in the morning and before he went to sleep at night. You would know when he looked at you at times just too be looking at you with no response. And you asked him whatt...? And he replies oh nothing just looking at your beautiful self. Thats love. But it goes deeper and beyond that.



In final relax. Sounds like your young. He might be a lil older than you from what it seems. But do not go back to him or you will be like my female friend wanting to know the what if instead of living your life for the Whats next. If your not moving on you will not damage yourself only but the person you are with in the future. Dont you think the future man he deserves that. So think about it but let it be a thought that you forget about this man all together. Dont get stuck in that cycle of misery. Its basically a forbidden past that will never come true. That plus you cant change him or no one that doesnt want to change.



Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.Love-story with edges?
The love stories tell us we need to give one person the key to our life. But when we do, they throw it away. This is because living for someone else is idolatry, we give up our decisions and purpose to him. You started to take back your life, but now you aren't sure...he felt so safe.



I don't know how to talk of the solution without being spiritual. You have purpose that is not dictated by anyone but your perfect Self. You can call it God or Christ or anything, but you have access to the Self at any time, not just through him.
i know where you are comming from

i had the same story

and trust me i just left

though it still hurts after all this time

its for the best

the problem is your current bf

you need somebody who WILL drive you crazy

obviously ur current doesnt

trust me - this will be hard to get now maybe but

you can re place anyone who left you

he's not worth it

dont give into the drama

you ARE worth more

if hes serious about her , why do you need him?

but really girl

sit back and listen to your heart

what does it say?????????????

follow it

no matter what it is


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